Va, pensiero, sull'ali dorate

And I don’t know what’s the worst part. I’m missing tonight’s away game with the band, will be puffy-cheeked and miserable tomorrow morning for the SAT, and will have to march without playing for Saturday’s contest.

So Homecoming went well, considering boyfriend couldn’t make it. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but band kids and girlfriends saved the night! I had so much more fun with a small group of people I actually like at a friend’s house than some big fancy dinner party. And of course, the popular people never show up to dances on time, so the first hour, it was all band kids. :) We danced in these huge groups with actual room to move, and even started incorporating visuals from our show and some marching! Some non-bandies kept trying to join in, it was hilarious. And I was kind of glad I wasn’t invited to any after-parties… I had much more fun making fun of chick flicks with the same group of friends than getting drunk.

So far, my application essay is complete word vomit. It goes on and on, and still manages to say absolutely nothing of importance. How the fuck am I supposed to write about someone who made an “impact” in my life? I think essay readers overestimate my ability to make pointless shit sound deep and compelling. I never thought I of all people would be saying this, but I’d rather speak in front of 500 more gigantic crowds than write to another standardized prompt. Why can’t you use the common app, Texas? >:\ At least that one I can write whatever I want. *dramatic sigh*

So I kinda miss him. Like WAYYY more than expected. Texts just don’t cover it. And soon, he starts BT and there won’t even be that. D: I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to someone in my entire life. He’s like best friend and boyfriend all at once :) Unconditional trust like that is so hard for me, but I managed it, and I don’t want to lose it. So we’re going to see how long distance works… Guess I’m counting down until Christmas now. :(

Also important, queue is officially the weirdest word ever. I mean, just look at it. I had to google how to spell it. It makes no sense…(important info: This is my sarcasm/whining font). So should I? I’m taking a two week trip all over the Northeast to tour colleges (especially excited for my first trip to NY!), and will thus be berefit (yes, Chrome, that is a word) of internet. 

Okay, I’ve worked myself into a mild panic over this. When is the socially appropriate time to change a facebook profile photo? Cause prom was forever ago, and now it just looks awkward. And I don’t really want to take a new one by myself, because the way I see it, that leads to only two options: pose in the mirror like a tool, or attempt to take some artsy self-portraits which scream I have no life and nothing better to do with my time (and the latter, of course, would be the truth; except that in my head, just because I have nothing better to do does not motivate me to do said task). And my friends and I aren’t really the types to go snapping group pictures everywhere we go (which isn’t very far or often). Or should I wait until the end of the month? Cause that’s when boyfriend is moving away (which we have not talked about at ALL yikes)… There needs to be a book about this. Like, a choose your own adventure with different scenarios and all with happy endings! Not like that zombie one I read, where I died 50 million times… So, typing all this has successfully distracted me from the original question! I think I’m just going to log off the internet for a while…

Thursday I was sneezing, Friday I was congested, today I am coughing, I think I am going to die by the end of next week guys… I will never know another summer. 

Google is no help. Apparently I’m supposed to give one to my date for prom? Does it have to be a real flower? Match my dress? Match some corsage thing he’s supposed to buy? Have rainbows and glitter? I’m floundering. PROM WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT.

I’m actually stupidly happy right now! Yes, I have AP testing in like, two weeks, and prom to worry about, and the black belt test, and SAT, and probably a lot more things I can’t remember to continue worrying about. But, I guess I feel prepared now. I’m caught up in all my classes, have been getting enough sleep, and recently finished a very good book, Good Omens. And of course, I have a date to prom to look forward too, which might be turning into a bit more than that? It’s a happy kind of confusion. A couple of months ago, all I could think about was how the year would be over seen, and I would get to see my friends again. And I still miss them, and regret that I never see K or C more than once a week, but they haven’t made the effort to contact me back, right? So I’ve adjusted. Suddenly, there are a lot more people in my life, who are funny, and interesting, and love to talk about anything and everything. I still can’t wait to graduate and be done with high school, but right now things aren’t so bad.